all about the dirty jokes :P

A young man has always dreamed on owning a Harley Davidson. One day
he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer.
After picking out the perfect bike the dealer warns him that if he
leaves his Harley in the rain the chrome has a tendency to rust. He
tells the young man an old biker’s trick is to keep a jar of
Vaseline handy and smear it on the chrome if the bike must be left
out in the rain.

A few months later the young man meets a woman and falls in love.
She asks him to come home and meet her parents over dinner. He
readily agrees and the date is set. At the appointed time he picks
her up on his Harley and they ride to her parents house. Before they
go in she tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever
speaks first after dinner must do the dishes.

After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the
first person to break and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long
fifteen minutes the young man decides to speed things up so he
reaches over and kisses the
woman in front of her family.

And no one says a word…! Next he decides to take a more direct
approach so he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front
of everyone. And still no one says a word…!!! Now he is getting
desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws her on the table. They
have even wilder sex. But no one says a word…!!!!

By now he is getting very worried and is wondering what to do next
when he hears thunder in the distance. His first thought is to
protect the chrome on his Harley, so he reaches in his pocket and
pulls out the Vaseline. And the father says, “Okay dammit, I’ll do
the dishes.

_______________________________________________________

A man walked into a bar. There, he saw a beautiful,
smartly dressed woman perched on a bar stool.
Approaching her he said, “Hello there gorgeous. How
are you?”

Having already had a few power drinks, she turned
around, faced him, looked him straight in the eye and
said, “Listen! I’ll screw anybody, anytime, anywhere,
your place, my place, front door, back door, it
doesn’t matter. I’ve been doing it since I got out of
college. I just flat ass love it.”

Eyes wide with interest, he said, “No kidding? I’m a
lawyer too! What firm are you with?”

_______________________________________________________

The priest in a small Irish village loved the cock and ten hens he
kept in the hen house behind the church.
But one Saturday night the cock went missing!!!
The priest knew that cock fights happened in the village so he started to
question his parishoners in the church the next morning.

During mass, he ask the congregation. “Has anybody got a cock?”

All the men stood up.
“No, no” he said, “that wasn’t what I meant ….”

“Has anybody seen a cock?”

All the women stood up.

“No, no” he said, “that wasn’t what I meant!”

“Has anybody seen a cock that doesn’t belong to them?”

Half the women stood up.

“No, no” he said, “that wasn’t what I meant.”

“Has anybody seen MY cock?”

All the nuns, three altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.

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