Responces Got Back

(Parody of Sir-Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back”)

Responses Got Back

By Shawn W

Oh my God, Becky, look at that acceptance rate. It is so small. It looks like one of those Ivy Leagues. But who understands their admission decisions? They only accept people if they’re, like, a total genius, ‘kay? I mean the acceptance rate is so small. I can’t believe it’s so selective, it’s like, miniscule–I mean, wow! Look! It’s just so…prestigious

I like big envelopes and I cannot lie
You other applicants can’t deny
When a mailman comes by during his itty bitty trail
And puts a bulging thing in your mail

You get accepted! and you wanna get real tough
You notice that envelope was stuffed
Deep in the box it’s sitting
I’m anxious and can’t s@#%ing

Oh college, I wanna get in ya
And get that nice big letta’
My counselors tried to warn me
But that acceptance makes me so nervy

Ooh, Rumbled-acceptance
You say you wanna get me some entrance
Well, use me, use me
‘Cause you ain’t the average university

I’ve gone previewing
The hell with “matches” and “fitting”
Cause it’s prestigious, top-ranked,
And I’ve got this process tanked

I’m tired of magazines
Saying all resume padding is the new thing
Take the average college scholar and ask him that
My application is where it’s at

So admissions counselors, counselors
Has your college accepted me?
Take my application and check it, check it
Check it with a healthy “yes”
That letter is packed

I like them round and big
And when I’m throwing a gig
I just can’t help myself, I’m acting like an animal
Now here’s my scandal*

I wanna make you my home
And a, double-c, e, p, t
I ain’t talking ’bout College Confidential
‘Cause this process ain’t sequential

I want ’em real thick and bulging
So find that jumbo packet
ShawnOfAwesome’s in the top bracket
Begging to be accepted

So I’m looking at college propaganda
The junk mail’s piled as high as a giant panda
But I’ll keep my letters like a postal serva’

A word to the thick-filled envelopes, I wanna getcha
I wont cuss or tear ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna get in
Till the grad school thing comes along

College got it goin’ on
A lot of admissions counselors won’t like this song
‘Cause them punks want to make you wait then reject you
And I’d rather just get in

‘Cause the wait’s long and I’m stressed
And I want to see them say “yes, yes yes!”

So colleges, colleges,
If you wanna give me some scholarships
Then send that letter out
And all the applicants shout
Responses got back!

Actually, when it has to do with colleges, College Confidential doesn’t have very much at all to do with my selection.
I mean, $42k-5/1-11%? Maybe if it’s number 1

So that applicant has nursed a population of anaconda
And his father is Mufasa
But Mufasa won’t be the king of the college’s anaconda

My mailbox don’t want none
Unless you’ve accepted number one
You can reject Jack and Jill and Susan
But please accept your main man

Some colleges want to make the process a hard role
And tell you that your application ain’t gold
So they defer you and they torture you
But when the mailman pulls up I’ll still retrieve it

So College Confidential says my app is whack
But I still hope to get the “accepted” pack
‘Cause my chances are small and my nerves are kickin’
And I’m waiting for my mail to thicken

To the slivery envelopes that fit in magazines:
I really hope you ain’t my thing
Give me a bulger and I won’t be no resister
Adulations and preview stuff didn’t miss her

Some mailman try to dis me
By bringing me a letter that’s skinny
But I made it a game and hit him
And look for a letter of admission

So mailman, if the envelope’s round
And it turns out I wasn’t turned down
Dial 1-900-AWE-SOME
And give me some fat letters
Responses got back!

* I figured this verse was way too fitting to change. It seemed to match the theme of the parody about as well as it matched the original song 🙂

LMAO, i love it ^.^

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